And then I realized that the feeling of being alone was not new. I had always been on my own I had always been lonely. I never relied on anybody I never trusted anybody I never felt heard or seen or understood. That’s why I let myself get trapped by a man who destroyed me even though there was not much of me to begin with. It was the only time I felt taken care of - even if it was in a very wrong way.
And as I lay here today in my loneliness my brain can’t help but whisper that I should have never left him. That enduring would have been better than to stay behind and drown in being on my own.
